The 256 Question
CWRU Computer Hacker's Purity Test
Brought to you by froggy (froggy@eecs.cwru.edu)


Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes"

      Habits, appearances and personality
      (48 Questions)
      Have you ever coded for...
    1. 12 hours straight? (come on, this one is a freebie)
    2. 24 hours straight?
    3. 36 hours straight?
    4. 48 hours straight?
    5. 72 hours straight?
    6.     Were you hallucinating towards the end?
    7. Are you more pale than your non-programming friends?
    8.     Are you non-Caucaisan, hence making this attribute more profound? (2 points)
    9. Have you ever dreamt in source code?
    10.     Did it make sense when you woke up?
    11.     Where you able to type it in before you forgot?
    12.         Did it run correctly the first time? (liar)
    13. Do you regularly answer purity tests?
    14. Have you ever been to any web page in the armory.com domain before doing this purity (Too late, you won't get the point for visiting now!)
    15. Are you either 15% over or under weight?
    16. Is your favorite carbonated beverage Mountain Dew?
    17.     Are or were you ever you too cheap to buy your own and instead fill up used 2-liters or other such containers at Leutner or Fribley?
    18. Do you prefer to shop on-line?
    19. Are you nicer on-line (email, ICQ, IRC) than you are in real life?
    20.     Are you lying?
    21. Are you a BOFH?
    22.     Do you have the email to prove it?
    23. Do you find bathing every day a chore?
    24. Do you wear t-shirts that are more than 5 years old?
    25. Would you consider a Sun t-shirt more trendy with your peers than a Tommy Hilfiger button up?
    26.     Would you get made fun of for wearing the Tommy Hilfiger shirt if you owned one?
    27.     Do you make enough money where it wouldn't matter to you either way?
    28. Do you wear shorts and sandles in the Winter and long pants and heavy shoes or boots in the summer?
    29. Do you have an affinity towards foods that will keep well if not refigerated for more than 3 days?
    30. Do you find yourself watching "educational" cable channels or PBS more than any other type of television show?
    31.     Does "educational" in your vocabulary include the Game Show Network, Comedy Central, the Sci-Fi Channel or the Cartoon Network?
    32. Do you consider software piracy and/or MP3 sharing legal?
    33. Have you ever been accused of a crime involving computers? (Including the J-Board)
    34.     Were you convicted?
    35.     Are you now a folk hero?
    36. Do you make it a point to visit the local grocers so that you don't have to rely on Leutner and Fribley for your sustenance?
    37. Do you find the 20 minute walk from North side to the quad too much of a work out?
    38.     even on a bicycle or rollerblades?
    39. Do you own a baseball cap with a computer theme to it?
    40. Do you find The Onion really America's finest news source?
    41.     Have you ever actually paid for a subscription to it?
    42. Do you ever use phrases and terminology that your non-computer friends and associates cannot understand?
    43. Do you bite your nails?
    44. Are you into Anime?
    45. Do you consider alcohol an important part of your ability to code?
    46.     Is it true?
    47.     Can you prove it?
    48. Insert question here!

    49. Jobs, Money, Education and Affilitions
      (48 Questions)
      Are you or have you ever been a member of the CWRUlug, yet worked for Microsoft for your...
    50. summer job?
    51. co-op?
    52. post-graduation job?
    53. Have you ever been a Smith Lab labby?
    54.     When Brandon was the boss?
    55.     When Adam was the boss?
    56.     When Jeff was the boss?
    57. Have you ever worked in the EECS department as a techie?
    58.     and not regretted it?
    59.     and worked for Froggy, Dave, Jeff or Long?
    60. Have you ever worked for CNS or DMS?
    61.     during Ray Neff's tenure?
    62.     before it was CNS and was instead INS?
    63. Do you know what the DML was?
    64.     and why everyone left?
    65. Have you ever been a Netcom technician?
    66. Have you ever been a computer labby at the law school?
    67.     and liked it?
    68.         while Troy, Paula or Tim was boss?
    69. Have you ever started a profitable company from your dorm room?
    70.     In doing so, did it violate the computing ethics policy?
    71. Have you ever sold anything on Ebay?
    72.     Was the item you sold stolen?
    73.     Was the item broken when you sent it?
    74.         and the buyer knew this before hand and bought it anyway?
    75. Have you ever bought anything on Ebay?
    76.     Did you receive the item and refuse to pay?
    77.     Did you resell it for more than you bought it for?
    78. Have you ever been told or have told someone else in cwru.forsale, "I can find it cheaper on pricewatch.com!"
    79. Have you ever been a member of the CWRUlug?
    80. Have you ever been a member of the CWRU chapter of the ACM?
    81. Have you ever been to a CCC meeting BEFORE the members took over the ACM?
    82. Are you an IEEE member?
    83. Have you ever been published in a technical journal or similar publication?
    84. Can you recall what the course number was for the current ECES 233 (data structures) class before it was called ECES 233?
    85. Have you ever taken any 400 level or above computer science, computer engineering or electrical engineering course?
    86.     did you get an A in any of them? (I would hope so!)
    87. Do you own any patents?
    88. Have you ever sold a program you have written?
    89. Have you ever worked on an open source project as part of your job?

    90. Are you a member of...
    91. Mensa?
    92. Slashdot?
    93. the Geek Empire?
    94. CWRU Film Society?
    95. Do you or have you ever owed more than $2000 in credit card debt because of your computer related purchases?
    96. Do you have the maximum allowable coverage for computers that your insurance carrier will permit?
    97. Do you believe any job you take shouldn't feel like work?
    98.     and you're willing to do it 50+ hours a week?

    99. People and Relationships
      (48 Questions)
      Have you spoken personally with...
    100. Froggy?
    101. Merlin?
    102. Tod?
    103. Chet?
    104. Gumpff?
    105. Trier?
    106. Fung?
    107. Dell?
    108. Ray Neff?

    109. Subtract a point if you had a meaningful relationship with Ray Neff... (just kidding)
      Have you ever coded instead of
    110. going out with friends?
    111. going out with your SO?
    112.     and you know what SO means?
    113.     and you lied to him/her about it?
    114.         and you got away with it? (You sly thing!)
    115.     making out?
    116.     having sex?
    117.     eating?
    118.     going to the bathroom?
    119.         for more than 24 hours? (What stamina!)
    120.     doing homework? (Unless, of course, the coding was FOR your homework)
    121. Do you know your alt.binaries better than your cwru.girlfriend?
    122. Have you ever given a computer related gift costing more than two week's salary to anyone?
    123.     to someone that wasn't your SO?
    124. Have you ever received a backrub while at a computer?
    125. Have you ever done anything sexual with another person while at a computer?
    126.     were you multitasking at the time?
    127. Have you ever done anything sexual with another person in a computer lab on campus?
    128. Have you ever taken digital photographs (either scanned or pure digital) of anything sexual?
    129.     were you able to sell them online?

    130. Did your first "serious" relationship occur while you were a CWRU...
    131. freshman?
    132. sophomore?
    133. JUNIOR?
    134. SENIOR???
    135. "I've never had a serious relationship to date"
    136. Are you better friends with your hands than you are those of the opposite sex?
    137.     And you like it that way?
    138. Are you a pervert?
    139.     and everyone knows and accepts it?
    140.     because they are perverts as well?
    141. Do you have lots of acquaintances but only a few close friends?
    142. Do you have trouble telling people you know personal stuff with them in real life, but manage to spill your guts completely in some online medium?
    143. Have you ever been dumped online?
    144. Have you ever dumped someone online?
    145. Have you ever used a piece of computer equipment as a sex toy? (Very kinky!)
    146. Do you find these questions intrusive or embarrassing?
    147. Are you generally a nice person?
    148.     Do other people actually believe that shit?

    149. Useless stuff, hacks and computers
      (112 Questions)
    150. Can you name FROM MEMORY the heading for the one and only entry in the current (Spring 2000) version of the Jargon File/New Hacker's Dictionary that specifically references Case Western Reserve University?
    151.     and remember the magic time?
    152.     and the magic phrase?
    153.     and what computer system it was used with?
    154.     and the operating system?
    155. Do you know what the CHI corporation was?
    156.     were you part of it?
    157.     did you like being a part of it?
    158.     do you have any CHI corporation memorabilia? (punch cards, pictures, mag tape, etc.)
    159. Do you have to put keyboards in your budget because you go through them so fast?
    160.     even though you don't really have much of a budget to speak of?
    161. Are monitors less than 17" painful for you to use?
    162. Have you ever hacked a campus vending machine?
    163.     did it involve downloading the schematics?
    164.     did it involve pushing the damn thing over?
    165.         are they still keeping that vending machine stocked?
    166.     when you opened it, did you find the schematics and passwords already there?
    167.     did you get away scot free?
    168. Can you write decent computing haiku?
    169.     in Perl?
    170.         and have it actually do something non-trivial?
    171. Have you ever pulled off a physical hack on campus?
    172.     did you document it?
    173.     did you brag about it?
    174. Can you locate *the* Phallic fountain?
    175.     have you ever turned it into a large penis with genitals?
    176.         when there wasn't any snow to speak of on the ground?
    177. Are you a brother of the Beta Nu chapter of the Theta Chi? (That explains a lot!)
    178. Have you ever handled a soldering iron?
    179.     and you WERE NOT an electrical engineer?
    180. Have you ever hacked your television for any purpose?
    181. Have you ever put things into the microwave just to see what would happen?
    182. Do you like guns?
    183. Have you ever played paintball?
    184. Do holograms fascinate you?
    185. Do fireworks and/or explosives excite you?
    186.     do you make an effort to shoot them off as often as possible?
    187.     Do you have a valid license to do so?
    188. Do you own any ORA books?
    189. Do you own any books intended to help you code better or faster?
    190. Have you ever written self modifying code?
    191.     did it work?
    192. Is programming a good way to relax for you?
    193. Have you ever written a computer game?
    194.     did anyone else but you actually play it?
    195.     was it a MUD?
    196. Have you ever used a MUD (or variant)
    197.     did you ever become a wizard or immortal? (good for you!)
    198. Is your pr0n archive taking up 10% or more of your total disk space?
    199. Is your MP3 archive taking up 50% or more of your total disk space?
    200. Do you have 5 or more compilers installed on your computer currently?
    201.     Do you actually know how to use all of them?

    202. Would you consider it reasonable to upgrade your processor(s) and motherboard on your primary computer system every...
    203. 2 years or sooner?
    204. 1 year or sooner?
    205. 6 months or sooner?
    206. Do you own a machine running a Free operating system (Linux, *BSD, etc.)?
    207.     Do you prefer it over a Windows or Macintosh based system?
    208. Do you own more than 1 computer?
    209.     more than 5?
    210.     more than 10?
    211.     Do at least 75% of them actually run?
    212. Do you own a working laptop?
    213. Have you ever destroyed a perfectly good piece of computer equipment less than 6 months old?
    214.     before it was actually paid for? (credit cards, N months same as cash...)
    215.     in an automobile accident? (hehehe! free point for the author!)
    216. Are you subscribed to 3 or more email lists?
    217.     Is their total volume over 100 messages a day?
    218. Is/Was bandwidth an important consideration for your current living arrangement?
    219. Are you the first in your family to ever work with fiber optic data transmission cable?
    220. Do you find the "stick and twist" nature of most of the fiber on campus even slightly erotic? (You sicko)
    221. Have you ever used two or more transceivers to hook up one computer to a LAN? (i.e., fiber to BNC to UTP)
    222. Do you own a hub or switch?
    223. Do you own your own router?
    224.     Is it a Cisco?
    225.     Do you understand IOS?
    226. Do you have your own web page?
    227.     Is it either hopelessly out of date or updated more than once a week?
    228.     Does it make use of PHP, Javascript, Perl or such languages?
    229.         Is all of it debugged fairly well?
    230.     Does it run on a computer running a web server that you've installed?
    231. Have you ever brought CWRUnet to it's knees or crashed any piece of critcal networking hardware either intentionally or purposefully?
    232.     Was the network down for more than an hour?
    233.     Was the network down for more than 24 hours?
    234.     Did you get away scot free?
    235.     Was it done at the request of a member of DMS or CNS?
    236.     Was it because you were multicasting too much data accidentally?
    237. Have you ever started a broadcast storm on CWRUnet?
    238.     When the broadcast storm was "fixed" did you start up another one immediately?
    239. Has your network card ever believed that it had a MAC address of all zeros?
    240. Have you ever sniffed the ether?
    241.     Did you find something interesting?
    242.         Did what you find include your friends' CWRUnet passwords?
    243.             Did you think their passwords were really lame?
    244. Do you remember the Freent?
    245. Did you ever have a community Freenet account?
    246. Did you ever hit on girls on the CFN IRC?
    247.     Did you ever meet any of them in real life?
    248. Do you recall getting your first computer with fond memories?
    249.     Do you still have at least a part of it to keep as a souvenir?
    250. Can you terminate twisted pair with RJ-45 connectors?
    251.     Do you own your own pair of crimpers?
    252. Can you terminate either single or multimode fiber?
    253. Have you ever dumpster dived?
    254. Have you ever war dialed?
    255. Have you ever been a script kiddie?
    256. Have you ever hacked root on a University server?
    257.     Without the administrator's permission?
    258.     Did you avoid getting caught?
    259. Does the glow of your monitor keep you warm at night?
    260. Can you type in Dvorak?
    261. Have you ever pimped out your computer case to make it look "cooler"?
    262. Have you ever overclocked your processor?
    263. Do you believe I could have optimized this purity test more?

Click below to score this test


Updated on 9-28-2001 for minor spelling errors.